Now that I have seen, I am responsible.

I'm gonna start with a few videos. I had finished this whole thing, pictures and all, and it mysteriously disappeared. I had to add-over the pictures and re-type it all. I'm still annoyed about it. Surprisingly, I'm missing some pictures that Loty has on her computer from the week before. Bummer.

Here's a little picture of our abuelo/gramps of Mexico. He's awesome... he loves the cookies we bake.



I love this of Gaby. I miss this little one.



This was our going away present. This song along with Barbie's, stuffed animals, and miscelaneous candy.



Didn't know a pair of mattresses could be so fun.



More of the same mattress stuff... but I love it. Listen to those laughs.




Check out that backdrop as we set up the food tables.



Stage set-up. They made that stage the night before.



The doodling I did in high school came in handy.





I never figured out what these skits were about, but I loved the stuffed dog costume.



They are amazing



THE FOOD:
A family of boys waiting for food from the tables of:
enough pizza for 3000 children, 1000 pieces of Kentucky Fried Chicken, 500 mashed potato cups, over 4000 gellatin cups, pasta with cheese sauce, and a juice box (aka Pau-Pau).



We totally staged pictures of the kids from Lily helping the kids of Colonia Soledad.





They were playing the "too cool" act for the camera at first, but they broke at the last minute.





John.. who is still in Mexico with his wife.. and a couple of the girls.




PRESENTS!
She's such a cabbage patch doll.



Here's proof. I had one of these as a little girl.





Mama and a kiddo.







The "Brinka, Brinkas":





Javier played a little too.



So miniature. She had not chance.



Nohema directing the kids... and Sergio.





Amazing how they pulled this off.



Silvia with a friend from the area. Her mother lives here as well.



Irela with one of the boys from the neighborhood.



Ask us how confident we were that this would last the 15 minute drive to the church? Not at all.. but it absolutely made it. Mexicans can tie anything down to a truck.



_________________________________
My last cold, rainy morning with the boys. Don't they look devestated?



Believe it or not, I miss driving these roads.



These are pictures from the party for the kids thrown by some school. I went camera crazy because I was afraid there was a kid I hadn't documented. Seems impossible, I know.
Tonio was smiling a minute before.







Boni... I don't know what to say about his little get up.







Manuel is back. Featured here with Rafa.



Two of my faves.





The group handing out presents to our kids.





Julien with a gift... looking turtle-like.



Little Brenda. What a character. A third of my stories include this lil' one.



So many presents.



Ana Karen played my camera games with me.



I'll miss you, Jaci.



The beginning of our life back in the States. We had some buddies over to my parents Friday night to fellowship and catch up...
Kat and Ryan- two of our newlywed pals. In Mexico some of the girls would play like they were me and my good girl friends. Kat was one of them. It was funny to hear them try to pronounce "Kathleen."



Our buddy Smitti. He came over last night with some friends. We were showing him pictures from Mexico and he said, "You all had a blog?" I told you Michigan folk that you read this more than our friends.. now you have proof.



Me and little man. My nephew, Isaac. Awesome picture, eh?



Lil' I watching the game. My brother, his daddy is coach.





So, which one of these places is the foreign country? Mexico or the U.S.? I thought that Mexico would make me uncomfortable, but I feel like a stinkin alien around here. I'm writing this from one of my very favorite coffee shops here in Louisville with a delicious white mocha. I am in the middle of my old neighborhood. The house that I lived in with three of my best pals is walking distance from here. My church is just a few blocks away. The previously familiar streets, shotgun houses, and little stores make me a little nervous. I don't really want to talk to anyone, and at any moment I could break out in tears. My mom said to me a little bit ago, "I know, you want to be back in Mexico." I don't know if that's what I'm feeling, but I do feel an emotion that I believe has not yet been defined. I am so sad... but I cannot explain it. I just want to sleep. Maybe my dreams will hold something familiar.

Goodbyes were emotional, but not nearly as bad as I had thought. The house has been so busy that there wasn't a lot of time to feel the effects of leaving. Our "last night" (so we thought... Andrea had another idea) we had the girls watching a movie while we finished packing. We then went around the room and passed out the girls' gifts. They loved the pictures. In fact, we probably could have given them nothing else. One after the other would run up and say, "Remember that time..." and then they would go on to describe whatever we were doing in the picture. A few girls got really emotional, the expected ones, really. When they came home from school the next day and we were still home, they gave us an incredible welcome, and said "We couldn't focus in school.." or "We heard a plane flying and thought it was you all!" What a blessing it is to be loved by them. 24 hours later, we really did leave. We spent all day going back and forth between emotions... total sadness, excitement, shock. Right before we landed, Lauren and I had this sweet friend moment where we were just overwhelmed to the point of tears (not the awkward, public weeping type) at what the Lord had done in our lives over the past 5 months. What a beautiful mercy. We landed and were greeted by a surprisingly sizely group of friends and family. This world is so familiar... yet so strangely unfamiliar now. I give myself about 2 weeks. I think I'll adjust in time.

Thanks to a friend, I stumbled across this little musician Brooke Fraser from New Zealand. Apparently she spent some time in Rwanda and met numerous orphans there. This song hit me in the middle of the night Thursday...

Now that I have seen
I am responsible
Faith without deeds is dead
Now that I have held you
In my own arms
I cannot let go `til you are

I am on a plane
Across a distant sea
But I carry you in me
And in the dust on, the dust on my feet

And I'll tell the world
I will tell them where I've been
I will keep my word
I will tell them, Albertine

I don't know what's next. Thanks to the sweet mercy of my God, I think I have a temporary job lined up that I know I'll enjoy and could be a good transition place for me. My old bosses are too kind. :) But, then what? I have a thousand thoughts... and even more ideas. This has always been my problem. The Lord has exposed me to a people in Mexico.. a small (in size) and neglected population of children that is in need of love and guidance. Yet, they are one group of so many in the world. My church has been doing some work in Africa.. Ethiopia and the Sudan. I hate to the point of tears what is happening to so many children worldwide. And it's here in the States as well. We prayed for the orphans of the world weekly, at times daily, and I'm passionate about it. So... do I go again? And if so, where? I'll be 25 years old in a month. At what point do I "settle down" or do I ever? All this is running over and over in my mind, but I don't want to pray. What a fool I am. Sins I hadn't considered in months are back as I have returned to the environment they rest in. I think I'm a little mad at myself and even at the Lord. I have so much I want to work through, but life is already feels so busy. The evenings have been full, and tomorrow, Sunday, I'll drive many an hour to Mississippi to work on houses and rebuild some of the destruction of that crazy hurricane that swept across our nation just a few years ago. Amidst the group of 17-ish I know only my dad, but I'm told the beach is close enough to skip to and the weather has been in the upper 70's. We're done every day by 5. I don't know why the Lord has me doing this, but apparetly I'm supposed to go. The needs of the world are endless, eh? We could never rest and still make no dent. I feel like I'm putting a bunch of little band-aids on these big nasty gashes in need of surgery. I don't want to stand by and do nothing, but I still need to process Mexico. There's so much to process.

I've written too much, but it should be the last time. In fact, I've procrastinated writing on here just because I know it is the end. Maybe I'll write a time or two more... pictures of Mississippi? :) Thank you for reading all these months, for loving us though many of you hardly know us, and for loving the kids of Lily. The Lord is good. Good beyond words. I pray you've been encouraged to seek Him and find your joy and satisfaction in Him while living out His love sacrificially. I still don't get it, but we're being chipped away. One day we'll be glorified with Him. I can't wait.

To God be the Glory.
Mary Ellen