Well, here I am again.

I was planning on telling you about some of the crazy events from the past couple weeks, but I just read Mary Ellen´s entry from last week...and you already know. I´m honestly having a hard time remembering what went on this week.

On Saturday all the kids went to a carnival sponsored by the local child-protective services (I think) with rides and all. Mary Ellen and I stayed back at the house to watch the property so we didn´t get to go, but we heard all kinds of stories when everyone got home. I wish I had video of the kids describing the rides and kids getting sick on the rides. Hilarious. They were so hyper, had their faces painted- it gave me great joy to see that they had such a good time. Also at the carnival a contest was held for all the orphans. Everyone submitted testimonies, three winners were selected (I don´t know the criteria) and were given cash prizes. One of the staff, who has lived at here at Lily for several years and now manages everything in the office, placed in the contest. She´s amazing and I´m thankful that she was blessed in this little way. God has done amazing things in her life and now lives a life of service for Him. So there was the carnival, and...hmm. Not a lot went on. Oh, Mary Ellen and I were in charge of making one thousand oatmeal cookies. You heard me. One thousand. Mama Rosa called from her day off (the day before the carnival- we thought they were for the carnival) and told one of the staff to give us the message. I didn´t believe it. But, we did it. Some of the kids helped us for a while, and it was good to spend time with them, but it took FOREVER. Each batch came out a little differently. My batch tasted more like a biscuit- a little round biscuit. I call it Oat Biscookie. Neither having a recipe nor all of the ingredients proved to be a challenge. But we´re just making memories, right?

The construction is coming along at the job site for the boys home, in fact, I ran out there last week to pay for walls that were being put up. I´m excited and anxious for the project to be completed, but we´re still waiting on someone to do the electrical work. Please pray that God would work it out, or more importantly, that we would have patience with His plan. Also, there are two small apartment-type houses close to being finished in the back of the main property. If you think of it, pray that two Mexican couples would desire to live there long time and work along side Mama and Papa. They are getting older, but their work load isn´t getting any lighter. As always, I´m encouraged and convicted by the way they live. Mama says it all the time, and it´s so true of her day to day living, ´Either I´m going to break it [the behavior, rebellion, of the kids], or it´s going to break me.´ Times that I would let something slide, she puts her foot down. I´ve always known about myself that I lean more on the side of grace, but here I´m challenged to give more truth the kids. They need it.

I won´t retell the story of the two new girls, one quiet and one hyper, in which the quiet girl ended up leaving the orphanage because of a breakdown...read Mary Ellen´s Sept. 23 entry for more. I would, however, like to comment. While Mary Ellen was in the room with the girl and Mama, trying to calm her down, I escaped for a minute. I found a quiet corner to curl into outside the gates of the property, and watched the sun set over the mountains. I saw God´s glory so vividly, and felt so small. God is beautiful and perfect and man is disgusting. Because of the sin of one man, this little girl is literary going crazy. Unable to control her body and emotions. Because of our sin, we have screwed up everything. But praise God for His mercy. That I could sit and gaze at his creation. Please pray for the healing of this girl´s heart, and that she would be ministered to wherever she is now.

I´m confident that the Lord is pushing me to persevere in my relationship with Him and my walk as a believer in an unbelieving world. A friend from home recently encouraged me in the same way- so cool when that happens. From the Message, Romans 13:11 says: ´But make sure that you don't get so absorbed and exhausted in taking care of all your day by day obligations that you lose track of time and doze off, oblivious to God.´ At times, I´m more motivated to study Spanish than to meditate on God´s word. I don´t want to get caught up in the fun and adventure and stress of being here, and forget about who and what is Ultimate in my life.

A challenge that Mary Ellen and I are presented with is figuring out how in the world we´re going to teach ten or twelve kids how to read. We like the idea of teaching them, but when it comes down to it, we don´t know where to start. If you know of any online resources we can pull from, please leave a comment on the blog! I really do want to see success, but I´m stuck.

That´s all for now. Here are a few photos.


Andrea and Jaci- I love them both. Andrea, because she's a goofball, Jaci, because she is always so joyful.




A sign of friendship is when the kids share shoes. They try it with us, but it doens't work.




Jaci




Andrea




Here's some video of the girls. Andrea is perfectly fine, although she may seem otherwise. We were interrupted by a few kids that found a tarantula. I'm never going to get used to those furry critters.




One more of Jaci- she's just soooo adorable. I'm a sucker for the little ones.




This is the site of the future boys' home- I can't remember if we've posted a photo of this already. The small building in the foreground is where the couple (undecided) caring for the boys will live; the building in the background is the boys dorm (one of two, second isn't built), and the framework to the left is the kitchen/dining hall.



Im trying to upload a video of Miriam and I, but I don't think it's going to work. She is still one that is on my heart to know the Lord. Just this week one of the staff boldy shared the gospel with her on a routine drive into Aldama. I praise God for this because my Spanish is so awful and I just can't say what I want to. Please pray for her heart, that she would begin to understand the message.

There is a season, turn, turn, turn.

So I mentioned in my last blog entry that I went on another field trip. I drove a van-full of fifth graders and their teacher to San Ignacio, a little town that's a 20 minute drive down a DIRT, pot-holey road. Adventure. We looked at someone's giant pet hawk, some other farm animals, and learned how Mexicans grow beans. It was actually quite fun. Here are some pictures along with a few others from the orphanage.

Marcela and I with frijoles.. aka beans. We eat these little guys every day.




This hawk is someone's pet. Not as family-friendly as say.. a dog. But then again classes of fifth graders don't come out to see your family dog.




After they took a class picture, I climbed up this haystack here and smiled for the camera. I have this dumb, dumb, dumb fear of heights, so I wanted them to take a good picture fast. This is the only one I got... and I'm looking down. Gracias por nada.




A fifth-grader had to help me down. I am ridiculous.




The teacher was driving the truck. None of this would fly in the States, but I think its way cooler. Do the parents know about this when they sign the permission slip?




This here is little pig. He's actually kinda cute unlike the fat nasties that live at the orphanage.




Pretty? Kinda. The trash could distract you from the mountains though.




Some of the fifth-graders. If some of them look too old for their grade it's because they are. I hate that some of them are so far behind. The one on the far left should be adopted within the year. In fact, her new parents are visiting right now. Fun.




We carpool and give wet willies.




Cielo has an awesome sense of humor and this refreshing goofiness to her.




Ana Karen. to Team Vito: she has a new game... it's called "dientes." Its played pretty much the same as "ojos" but with teeth. just wait. you'll love it.



Loty and Brisa piggying.



After looking at a thousand pictures, you can now read a thousand words. Or not. I'll never know the difference.

A time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to tear down and a time to build up:
I feel like people at home are always worried about me. Have I communicated at some point that I'm suffering? I'm a liar if I did. Really, I am feeling more at peace here than ever before... but my heart is heavy this week. So heavy. My mind has been moving at a rapid speed for days now and I think its time to share a bit of it.
First, I am feeling more helpless than ever in solving the problems of the world. I know, I know. It's silly, but it was a subconcious thought, I promise. I think I am finally realizing that I'm not gonna do it... when I die we will not be living in peace. There will still be orphans and abused children. There will be man-centered churches, car accidents, thieves and liars, men will still abuse women, women will still manipulate men, and there will be thousands that reject and mock God. I am so small and insignificant in comparison to the need.
A family of four moved into the orphanage this week... of course, two young girls to be added to our already crowded room. At this point almost all the beds have two girls in them. I fear it's only a matter of time before Lauren and I are cuddling up in the top bunk. These kids have been hurt. You could come for a week (or 5 months) and see the surface of their hearts and never know all their horrific stories. I'm not gonna candy-coat this, but there are little girls here who have been treated like toys at the hands of men and children who have been tossed around like garbage waste. This is weighing on me heavier this week because of some things I recently learned about the kids. I'm sick over the effects of sin. It can ruin us and shame others. I hate it. Oh, but I love it. If only God would destroy our love for anything but Him. Please pray that God would raise up more people to come and minister to the hearts of these little creations.
I wish I could talk to Amy Carmichael or George Mueller... what did they do with the pain of the thousands of kids they met?

Next, "Sometimes God ordains the Desert:"
The women who are closest to me in my life (namely my old roomies), can testify that the past year or so now has been the driest season in my walk with Christ up to this point. I'd like to say that when I moved here I was over this and passionately on fire for the Lord... but then I'd just be a dry liar. And with that let me say that I'm uncomfortable calling myself a missionary here, because the response from others is kinda silly. Moving to another country should not give us cool points or set us apart in the church. I hope I'm living the same as I would in the States... all those in Christ are to be ministers of the Gospel in the places God has put them. Please don't exalt me or tell me I'm living some sacrificial life. Don't let my location and surroundings fool you. I am as desperate for Christ today as I was three months ago working at a Cafe. It'll be the same in two months when I'm back in the comforts of my hometown. Your affirmation feeds a pride in me that is disgusting, and I can assure you that the children and staff don't see Lauren and I that way. They get paid nothing for the work they do, and in five months they´re not leaving. I say all that as a preface (Sarah Tennant:) ) to a sweet word the Lord gave me this week about myself and one of the reasons He has brought me here.
A lot has been going on lately. This particular lifestyle can busy your mind so easily that you forget to really examine yourself internally... even forget the dryness. Lauren loaned me her mp3 player the other day for the drive to pick up the boys. As usual when this happens, I listened to my favorite communicator of the Gospel, Matt Chandler, of the Village Church (please check him out on iTunes pocasts... so goood... seriously). Well, amidst his series on Ecclesiastes is a precious word he gave on September 3, 2006 (listen to it!), and through this message God broke me to the point of tears. His words resonated with me in every way. He spoke of God's purpose in bringing us to the "desert". He talked about how we lie to God and our community in the faith because we're scared. God brought to mind all the lies I'd been telling Him. Honestly, there are times when I look at these children here and want to curse God. I don't understand. All my theological understanding and studies feel worthless in moments like these. It's like a chasing after the wind. God challenged me in these thoughts and brought me security as He reminded me of the Gospel. As I confessed my frustrations with this season and with sin, God kept speaking to me. Almost audibly... but not at all (that still hasn't happened to me). I started looking around at the literal desert I am living in. Chihuahua is crazy dry, but occasionally there are these crazy downpours of rain. There will be huge puddles covering the dirt roads that the ground can feed on for about a day. And then it's dry again. Oh, how I relate to that. Chandler than reminded me of how God used the relationship between Hosea and his prostitute wife to speak to Israel about their rebellion. I am that wandering wife. I am like Israel.
"I will strip her naked
And expose her as on the day when she was born
I will also make her like a wilderness,
Make her like desert land
And slay her with thirst
...Therefore, behold, I will allure her,
Bring her into the wilderness
And speak kindly to her..."
I believe that God has brought me to the desert to strip me and break me only to allure me once again... He reminded me that He IS doing a work in me and I have to be patient through the season. He can use me here, as He can use me in the States, because He is God. He is doing the work in times of strength and in times of weakness. I will wait for Him.
So, I'm sitting in a little cubby between the library and a storage room and I am crying over the sweetness of God amidst all my seasons of life. I'm looking out at the desert and God is saying to me, "I brought you out to the desert to speak to you tenderly." He brought me to a literal desert to show me my spiritual desert. And then, I see our goats. You've seen the video with the mean goat, right? Nearly everyone who has visited has goat story. Well, they're walking in front of me and I'm battling whether to remain in this stillness or whether I should run to avoid the angry goat. I decided to go into the storage room and wait for the goats to pass. I was standing there, heart racing but praying because God was speaking to me! I was looking out this little peep hole as the goats passed by. Apparently the mean goat saw me sneak away... because he followed me. I looked up in the doorway and he stood there. eyeing me. no doubt trying to decide where on my body he would cause the most pain. So I did what any logical human being would do. I picked up a huge wooden board and threatened the guy saying, "Seriously. If you come any closer I'll hit you. I will, I'll hit you!" I sounded like a fool but it worked. The goat left me. My battle with the animal was over and my intimate moment with God was officially interrupted. But God is good. He renewed in me a desire to pursue Him in and out of this season.

The point is, God had me look at the desert I see every day with new eyes, and He spoke to me about my future with Him. While I am still a sinner, Christ has died for me.
In summary: I laughed really hard this week with some of the little girls, intimidated a goat with my threats, and was refreshed by the word of the Lord.

If you read this whole entry, I'll give you 5 points. Yep, 5 whole points.
May the Spirit of God bring you times of refreshing and tighten your grip only on Him. And may the peace of Christ be with you all.
Later dudes.
Mary Ellen

PS- Jay, I'll give your message to the girls. Mer and Paul- Dang, I love you. Thank you for reading and for loving us. South Carolina is one blessed state.
Daddio, can't wait to see you... less than 7 days now. Momma, wish you could come. Linda, let's all go out to dinner one night after you get here. Team Vito, the Lilies of the Valley are pumped. Andrea, I am thankful for the internet because we talked today. Love you. Sarah Tennant, I'm dying to talk to you for some crazy reason. I'll call you soon cuz its driving me crazy. Jen Doty, how the heck are you?

Dance, ladies.

These girls love to dance. That's why we're friends. Sorry the video is so short... it´s all I had time to put up. I love that you can hear Cielo and Karen singing in the background.

A few videos...

Here's the video from last week that I promised. Lauren handles the chicken feathers like a pro.





After Lauren and I picked up the kindergartners the other day we stopped by a little store and picked up some gum with juice inside for all of them. Brenda, the new hyperactive girl, is the one blowing bubbles in the screen. The video is kinda boring but you get to see more of the kids.

This is a little late...

Here´s a few photos for starters.
On Friday I got a couple of the girls to bake with me. We made cookies (Kat! the Devils Food recipe!) for the kids who couldn't go to graduation and a chocolate chip cake for the graduate, Brenda. It's a rule (only occasionally enforced) that we have to wear hairnets. Awesome.



Our chocolate chip cake.. modified due to a lack of ingredients and only goofy-shaped pans. I had three options: a car, Mickey Mouse, or this "butterfly".





Brenda graduated college last Friday. Lauren and I were both emotional over the things this amazing young woman has overcome. She is a friend... and those of you who know me well know by this picture that it is completely appropriate for this goofball to befriend me.




feetsies





It's been an insane week or so. Want proof?
Last Friday- One of the little girls, Nancy, tried to "run away" as a reaction to her well-deserved punishment. She didn't want to have to clean up trash for two weeks so the girl left the property all afternoon and into the night. We were panicked. After sending a search party out for her, she came home terrified and shaken up. We fed her donuts and put her to bed with Lauren. What in the world.
Tuesday- Got three new kids (two girls) and my first Mexican/80's rockstar haircut.
About the two girls: one walked in full of energy and amazed by her new surroundings. She wanted to touch everything around her and immediately asked if we would paint her fingernails... I did (and then painted another 30 nails!). If you asked her to say the same sentence three times, she would say something different every time because her mind is always moving. The other girl-- totally quiet and shy. We thought the hyper, stealing one was going to be our problem. I won´t go into details, but the quiet one ended up having a meltdown later that evening that lasted hours and only ended after Mama´ gave her a sleeping pill. I´ve never seen anything more terrifying or heart-breaking. She was looking under sheets and beds for her mother. She wasn´t there... so Lauren and I cried with her.
Wednesday- I led devotions the next day. Lauren and I will be doing this every Wednesday from now on. Prayerfully, one day we´ll be able to do it in Spanish.

There´s been more since then (but I slipped into this lil´ internet cafe just for a few minutes to finish this entry). In fact, I just got back from the most insane ¨field trip¨ I´ve ever been on. I´ll post pictures this weekend... maybe.
My dad will be here in a matter of days now, and I can´t wait to share this experience with someone I love. Linda and the Michigan group will be here after that.. and then Team Vito? The next couple months are gonna be busy times. ...and then I´ll be done here. Wow.

I had two dreams the past week that lead me to believe that I am subconsciously (sp?) missing home. First, I dreamt I was playing with my nephew for hours. I can´t remember anything about it but that I woke up feeling like I´d been with him. I miss that little booger. The other? Well, I can´t remember... but it was home. My other home. I guess this is home for now. But I praise God that I love the girls more than ever and I am mostly comfortable here. I´m growing and stretching and getting way freaked out about December. What will I do then? Lauren and I both had terrible stomach aches on Sunday evening after being asked about next year.... neither of us really know what to do. All you readers could pray for us about this. I just want whatever I do to be worshipful and for Christ to be seen. Call me ¨Captain Vague¨.

I´m signing off.
Peace,
Maria Elena

Viva Mexico

(I started this earlier in the day, by the way.)
It’s pouring down rain in Chihuahua at 2:15pm and I’m so thankful, although I’d like for it to stop before we get back on the road. The blue truck doesn’t love rain. Hates it, actually. I love the rain because the air is cooler, and I pretend that the breeze is air conditioning. Merm and I are sitting in a coffee shop during our time off, which is now Saturday and Sunday. It was nice to be at the house yesterday because we were able to sleep in and spend time with the kids in the morning since they didn’t have school. Last night we had the opportunity to be apart of festivities for Mexico’s Independence Day- dinner at Shalom, our church, and then to Grito, a huge celebration in downtown Chihuahua that takes place in cities all over Mexico. We missed the famous “Viva Mexico! Viva!” that the kids were so excited about this week, but got to see the fireworks and listen to a Mariachi band among a huge crowd of Mexicans who sang along to every song. Today I’m sleepy, but thankful to be here, where I can sit and think and just be…without any little people in sight. Ahhh. But I do miss them.


Before I continue, here’s a little bit of Grito. Viva Mexico!







The staff girls that we're so thankful for- it's neat to see the Lord working in their lives as they live out their faith at Lily. (They have such patience with our Spanish...most of the time. Haha.)

Noema and Maria Elena




Maria Elena and Brenda





We had our first encounter with a real Chihuahua. How exciting.





Locas.





Mama and Papa have been incredibly burdened for the staff and kids recently. They labor diligently for their children, and when prayers aren’t answered and habits don’t change, it’s hard for them to give up. They truly, truly desire change and it’s so obvious when I see them in the morning. There are many mornings that they wake up at 2 or 3am, praying for specific situations because the Lord has given them heavy burdens. Today I prayed that I could gain an ounce of passion that they have for things of the Lord. The past few weeks I’ve been convicted of my laziness, in whatever form it may take- spending time in prayer and the word, having intentional conversations with the staff and kids, being an encouragement to those around me... 1 Thessalonians has been a warning to me about this:

“But you, brethren, are not in darkness that, that the day would overtake you like a thief; for you are all sons of light and sons of day. We are not of night nor of darkness; so then let us not sleep as others do, but let us be alert and sober, having put on the breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet, the hope of salvation. For God has not destined us for wrath, but for obtaining salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ…” (1 Thess 5:4-9)

Plans here changed constantly, and the Lord may be using these situations to remind me that I’m not promised a thing. It’s only by his mercy and grace that I’m here, experiencing His creation and serving His people. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve thought or spoken out loud, “I’m an idiot.” I’m constantly making mistakes, but by His grace, I’m still here- prayerfully learning and growing in my faith.

We need to head back to the orphanage, so I can’t share more. Thank you to all of you who have been praying for Lily and are interested in what God is doing. Mary Ellen has shared with me that several people are interested in supporting the orphanage financially or with specific gifts and talents. I’m thankful for your desire and will pray that if it’s God’s will, plans will work out for you to be able to bless the kids and staff here.


Please pray for Ed and Rosa, that they would know this in their hearts and have peace:

“So then neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but God who
causes the growth.” (1 Cor. 2:7)

In Him,
Lauren

We always leave too late.

I had to put this up because Kat hates the sound I was making when we took this one. I'm sure the dog-owner was disturbed.



One of the gals from church... the other Maria Elena was supposed to be in this with me too.




This is some of the band that played at the Grito festivities. Independence Day 2007! woot, woot!





This is our abuela with one day's lunch. Someone donated a bunch of chickens a few weeks back. They're gone now. I'll add a video or two from this event next weekend.






I call this one "Chicken in a bucket and painted toenails"... One of the staff girls gave me toenail polish and I was thrilled.





Me and Ana. This lil' one is really special to me.





Carlina and Miriam the night before they left.





This is Ramón and Cristian playing in the floor. Cristian left with his sisters (above) to go back to their family. I hope this is a good thing. When the social services here picked them up they brought two new kids. It is strange to see kids come and go as they do.





This here is a tarantula. The picture was taken a couple of weeks ago, but we´ve found a few lately, so I thought it would be appropriate to put up. I am not a fan.





I am eating one of best sandwiches ever right now. Surprisingly, two of my favorite foods here are the sandwich and the hamburger. Different from the States and so good. I´m all about the avocado- it´s brilliant, Mexico! So, the last two weeks have been insane. A lot has happened, and as usual I am short on the time needed to tell you everything. You probably don't want or need to know all the dirty details anyway. Since my last discouraged note, the Lord has lifted me greatly. In fact, just two Sundays ago Lauren and I missed church because we had to take a girl to the hospital because she said a boy put a bean in her ear. A bean. My dad said moms are supposed to check on those kinds of things. Who knew!? I got thrown into this motherhood thing, and frankly, I have no recolection of my mom looking in or cleaning my ears. Sorry, Mom, if it went unnoticed.
Well because of the extra time, Lauren and I ended up praying together for some affirmation of God´s approval and purpose in bringing us to Mexico, for greater understanding and effectiveness in communication in Spanish, and for favor with the our new giant Mexican family. I couldn´t beleive I was only here to drive a car and pass out toothbrushes. Within the next 24 hours the Lord responded to everything we prayed for. One of the girls shared her story with us (a very disturbing and heart wrenching story) and I was able to share with her what God had done in my Life and go through Scripture and share the Gospel with her. WHAT?! Since then another girl, seven years old, shared her story of abuse and abandonment with me. I am amazed how the Lord enables me to understand the language particularly well at these times. Plus, yesterday Lauren and I spent the majority of the morning with three girls and were able to talk about purity and the Gospel with them. It may not have been the most convincing and poetic talk ever, but I think we communicated something true. Because a lot of these children have been exposed to sexuality in abusive and/or impure scenarios, many of them struggle with things adults I know would not even think of. It breaks my heart. I am praying that God would erase their memories of these things and give them a passion to look different from their culture. These are really the first times we´ve been able to minister more directly to the hearts of the girls. I´ve missed this.

I have a confession. Like an idiot I was driving the giant blue van, the same one I drive all the time, down a little dirt road outside the school the other day. I was asked to drive a group of 12 third-graders and their teacher on a field trip. Well, as I attempted to move through a small space between a random car and our huge bus, I totally scraped the side of the van. I mean.... totally. The best is that all the kids were outside the school (about 60 of ours) and they were all ready to make fun of me and reinact the whole thing. Little boogers. This is one among a few careless things I´ve done this week. Today, as I spent time with the Lord, I was confessing to the Lord my frustration with myself. I want to be different and I´m annoyed at this rate of sanctification. It´s easy for people to read about or job here and think more highly of us than you should. My whole life I´ve struggled with follow through (thanks to the dear Merideth Davis I know this cuz she called me out big time in college!) and it is nothing short of a miracle that the Lord would ever use me. This annoys me often as I want to find sufficiency in myself. I keep looking, but it´s not there. Well, after confessing this to the Lord, I was reading Tozer´s, The Divine Conquest (again! I need more books!) and was super convicted to see the Lord working in my presence.
Let Tozer explain... ¨We habitually stand in our now and look back by faith to see the past filled with God. We look forward and see Him inhabiting our future: but our now is uninhabited except for ourselves. Thus we are guilty of a kind of pro tem atheism which leaves us alone in the universe while, for the time, God is not. We talk of Him much and loudly, but we secretly think of Him as being absent... And we are lonely with an ancient and cosmic loneliness.¨

Mama Rosa really encounters God. She sees Him in the past, present, and the future. I have been convicted through her life to examine what I have been thinking about the Lord. I am missing something big. Still, I am grateful that amidst this weekness the grace of God is stirring in my heart and working in the lives of others. He is teaching Lauren and I so much. Now I´ve written too much and stayed too late. Pray for a supernatural energy for us tomorrow. I love you all and am overwhelmed by the support and interest you´ve shown in this little home of ours. May God be praised for the miracles He is doing here.

Peace,
Mary Ellen

P.S. I got lice again. So dumb. So gross. I only wear ponytails so it doesn't make a bit of sense.
P.P.S. My dad is coming to visit really soon and I am thrilled.

Merm's not a blog hog

Okay, okay. Here I am, finally. Merm isn’t a blog hog. Now the air is cleared, Mary Ellen. Our days off have been pretty busy, and the internet isn’t the greatest on my little laptop, so I haven’t had a ton of time to sit and think and write. Lots of thoughts have come and gone these past few weeks, and thinking clearly at this hour just isn’t going to happen. But I feel extremely distant from all of you, so let me give you a little bit of my life, struggles, and joys at Lily.

Over one month has come to pass, and it feels like I’m just now settling in. Mary Ellen and I finally have a dresser for our things (no more living out of a suitcase!) and we have keys to our room. The honeymoon stage of living in a foreign country is long gone, and now I’m really living here (well, for three more months). Three times a days there are dishes for over 100 people to be washed, the dining floor swept and mopped, and lots of children to be tended to. My sin is becoming more apparent, as I am constantly faced with opportunities to serve in joy or with a complaining heart. My faith is most tested at night when Mary Ellen and I are putting the girls to bed. Part of me wants to be so sweet to them, but when there are ten girls surrounding me, all complaining of their usual problems- imaginary stomachaches and headaches, no bed to sleep in, arguments with other girls, stolen toothbrushes and tennis shoes- I just want to run away. I’m thankful for the Holy Spirit in these wearisome moments, who reminds me of where I am and who these girls are. I know that the Lord has called me to love these orphaned children of God for this brief stint in which Lily of the Valley is my home. My desire is to respond in love no matter what, and prayfully, I’m on that path. Many nights, I go to bed tired and frustrated, but the Lord is changing my attitude. Slowly, and only by God’s grace.

One of our worst behavioral problems comes from a girl named Flor who’s only 5 or 6 years old. She rarely ever listens, and can turn from playful to bad-tempered instantaneously. Almost every night, she throws a fit over something, and my immediate desire is to ignore her. I want to leave her without discipline, and without and hug and a kiss. Mary Ellen and I consistently punish her in the form of time outs, which hasn’t made any impact on her behavior. Without knowing the language, it’s almost impossible for me to address her heart- to tell her that she is disobedient because she’s a sinner. For now, all I can do is put her in the corner until she stops crying, sometimes up to 20 minutes, explain why she’s being punished, and then carry her to her bed because she’s literally worn herself out. One night last week, she wasn’t being disobedient, but was just upset because no one would share a bed with her. In my impatience, I wanted to set her down in an empty bed and walk away. But instead, I knelt down beside her bed and sang the first song that came to mind, Jesus Loves Me. As I sang, I prayed that the Lord would reveal her sin and her need for a savior. Since then, she’s been punished several times, and I imagine that this next week will be similar. Through her, I’m being disciplined and challenged, as well. I know that she needs consistency in her life, part of it being that when she disobeys, she must face consequences. Please pray for her heart!

Here are a few photos of Flor…she has a hilarious personality, so when she’s not throwing a tantrum, she’s great to be around. We laugh a lot together. I’ve gotta get some video of her dancing- this girl’s got moves.

We took the kids swimming the weekend before school started, and Flor “found” (in Mary Ellen’s purse) a pair of glasses that belonged to a guy here with a team from Texas. She kept saying, “I’m an American” in a silly voice.







Flor loves dogs. Loves them. We have several at the house, and her favorite thing to do is see how much she can test them. She has all kinds of scratches to prove it.









This week I looked at Matthew 18:9 and from this scripture, I’ve thought so much about material things and the gospel. For these kids, of course, it’s important that they don’t go hungry, are clean, and given an opportunity to receive an education. But Matthew 18:9 says “If your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out and throw it from you. It is better for you to enter life with one eye, than to have two eyes and be cast into the fiery hell.” If these kids are given all they need physically, but don’t know Christ, what do they have? The Lord has greatly blessed the orphanage with physical needs, and I pray that all of these things are from the Lord. But I want more for them! My prayer is that through our daily devotionals, and just living life with them, they will see that the Father, through Christ, has rescued them from their sin if they choose to accept this truth. I’ve been wrestling with this scripture in terms of my own life, as I’ve examine my heart and the idols I cling to. Life here isn’t comfortable, but I’m so busy that I rarely think of it. I hope that once I’m back home, I won’t hold so tightly to my comforts. Please pray that the children will see God’s love for them in the food they eat, the clothes the wear, the staff who constantly serve them, and Mama and Papa, who give so sacrificially. But also, and even more brilliantly, that they see Christ’s love for them. And that they see a need for a savior.

Good news. There’s hope for learning the language. My attitude towards studying is never consistent- I’m either pumped or feeling totally defeated and don’t crack open my book all day. But tonight Sofia, our Mexican mom, gave me inspiration. She’s actually an English teacher here in Chihuahua and is willing to help us a little each weekend. She said we’re in an ideal situation to learn because we live with over 100 Spanish speaking people and have to use it all the time. I realize that but sometimes I feel so hopeless. The past few weeks I’ve been discouraged with my forgetfulness and have myself convinced that I’m never going to learn. This has also affected other areas of my responsibilities, specifically running errands. Getting lost isn’t an option because I don’t have a cell phone and sound like a four-year-old when asking a stranger for directions. The Lord is teaching me patience- in learning the language and learning the city.

Alright, I’ve got to get up four hours and Merm is already sound asleep like a little baby. I better get going. More next week, I hope.



A few more photos...


Antonio, showing off his muscles.



He's got a softer side, too. These moments are so precious.



Sisters.












More sisters. Two seconds after this was taken, Ana and Gabey got in a huge fight. That's what sisters are for.




Ana and I.




Our baby animals.






Look, Kat!




The goat boys. Christian is second from the left. See? He's fine.











PS- How are you? Please do tell.