Over one month has come to pass, and it feels like I’m just now settling in. Mary Ellen and I finally have a dresser for our things (no more living out of a suitcase!) and we have keys to our room. The honeymoon stage of living in a foreign country is long gone, and now I’m really living here (well, for three more months). Three times a days there are dishes for over 100 people to be washed, the dining floor swept and mopped, and lots of children to be tended to. My sin is becoming more apparent, as I am constantly faced with opportunities to serve in joy or with a complaining heart. My faith is most tested at night when Mary Ellen and I are putting the girls to bed. Part of me wants to be so sweet to them, but when there are ten girls surrounding me, all complaining of their usual problems- imaginary stomachaches and headaches, no bed to sleep in, arguments with other girls, stolen toothbrushes and tennis shoes- I just want to run away. I’m thankful for the Holy Spirit in these wearisome moments, who reminds me of where I am and who these girls are. I know that the Lord has called me to love these orphaned children of God for this brief stint in which Lily of the Valley is my home. My desire is to respond in love no matter what, and prayfully, I’m on that path. Many nights, I go to bed tired and frustrated, but the Lord is changing my attitude. Slowly, and only by God’s grace.
One of our worst behavioral problems comes from a girl named Flor who’s only 5 or 6 years old. She rarely ever listens, and can turn from playful to bad-tempered instantaneously. Almost every night, she throws a fit over something, and my immediate desire is to ignore her. I want to leave her without discipline, and without and hug and a kiss. Mary Ellen and I consistently punish her in the form of time outs, which hasn’t made any impact on her behavior. Without knowing the language, it’s almost impossible for me to address her heart- to tell her that she is disobedient because she’s a sinner. For now, all I can do is put her in the corner until she stops crying, sometimes up to 20 minutes, explain why she’s being punished, and then carry her to her bed because she’s literally worn herself out. One night last week, she wasn’t being disobedient, but was just upset because no one would share a bed with her. In my impatience, I wanted to set her down in an empty bed and walk away. But instead, I knelt down beside her bed and sang the first song that came to mind, Jesus Loves Me. As I sang, I prayed that the Lord would reveal her sin and her need for a savior. Since then, she’s been punished several times, and I imagine that this next week will be similar. Through her, I’m being disciplined and challenged, as well. I know that she needs consistency in her life, part of it being that when she disobeys, she must face consequences. Please pray for her heart!
Here are a few photos of Flor…she has a hilarious personality, so when she’s not throwing a tantrum, she’s great to be around. We laugh a lot together. I’ve gotta get some video of her dancing- this girl’s got moves.
We took the kids swimming the weekend before school started, and Flor “found” (in Mary Ellen’s purse) a pair of glasses that belonged to a guy here with a team from Texas. She kept saying, “I’m an American” in a silly voice.
Flor loves dogs. Loves them. We have several at the house, and her favorite thing to do is see how much she can test them. She has all kinds of scratches to prove it.
This week I looked at Matthew 18:9 and from this scripture, I’ve thought so much about material things and the gospel. For these kids, of course, it’s important that they don’t go hungry, are clean, and given an opportunity to receive an education. But Matthew 18:9 says “If your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out and throw it from you. It is better for you to enter life with one eye, than to have two eyes and be cast into the fiery hell.” If these kids are given all they need physically, but don’t know Christ, what do they have? The Lord has greatly blessed the orphanage with physical needs, and I pray that all of these things are from the Lord. But I want more for them! My prayer is that through our daily devotionals, and just living life with them, they will see that the Father, through Christ, has rescued them from their sin if they choose to accept this truth. I’ve been wrestling with this scripture in terms of my own life, as I’ve examine my heart and the idols I cling to. Life here isn’t comfortable, but I’m so busy that I rarely think of it. I hope that once I’m back home, I won’t hold so tightly to my comforts. Please pray that the children will see God’s love for them in the food they eat, the clothes the wear, the staff who constantly serve them, and Mama and Papa, who give so sacrificially. But also, and even more brilliantly, that they see Christ’s love for them. And that they see a need for a savior.
Good news. There’s hope for learning the language. My attitude towards studying is never consistent- I’m either pumped or feeling totally defeated and don’t crack open my book all day. But tonight Sofia, our Mexican mom, gave me inspiration. She’s actually an English teacher here in Chihuahua and is willing to help us a little each weekend. She said we’re in an ideal situation to learn because we live with over 100 Spanish speaking people and have to use it all the time. I realize that but sometimes I feel so hopeless. The past few weeks I’ve been discouraged with my forgetfulness and have myself convinced that I’m never going to learn. This has also affected other areas of my responsibilities, specifically running errands. Getting lost isn’t an option because I don’t have a cell phone and sound like a four-year-old when asking a stranger for directions. The Lord is teaching me patience- in learning the language and learning the city.
Alright, I’ve got to get up four hours and Merm is already sound asleep like a little baby. I better get going. More next week, I hope.
A few more photos...
Antonio, showing off his muscles.
He's got a softer side, too. These moments are so precious.
Sisters.
More sisters. Two seconds after this was taken, Ana and Gabey got in a huge fight. That's what sisters are for.
Ana and I.
Our baby animals.
Look, Kat!
The goat boys. Christian is second from the left. See? He's fine.
PS- How are you? Please do tell.
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