Are you kiddin' me? Mary Ellen again?!

I finished reading Job last week and am on my way through Ecclesiastes. I'm hoping to read the second half of the Old Testament while I am here and at the same time study/memorize (maybe?) 1 Peter. I say this only so you understand the context of my thoughts right now... I read first about a man who endured more tragedy than I will ever know (I am confident only because he started out with more material possessions than I will see in my lifetime) and then turn to a man who is able to endulge in every physical or material thing available. Though I've just begun Ecclesiastes they both seem to speak with the same humility toward God - recognizing His control and greatness while seeing the brevity of their lives and their helplessness before Him. Job says after being called out by the Lord, "I know that You can do all things, and that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted." (42:2) Then, Solomon says, "I know that everything God does will remain forever; there is nothing to add to it and there is nothing to take from it, for God has so worked that men should fear Him." (Ecc 3:14) These lessons are appearing in my own life right now.

It has been a thought-provoking break, and I am so thankful for the opportunity to breathe here at the Middleton's house. God has taught me so much about hospitality through both this family and our dear Mexican family. Momma Middleton has so ministered to my heart (and I think Lauren would say the same about this Middleton pair) as we've been able to talk through some of our more recent struggles. What a blessing they've been. Still, our day off is always a little frustrating in that we have so much we want to do and find ourselves lacking the time and energy to do it all. In fact, we are once again writing on the blog an hour before we are to head back to the orphanage. So ridiculous. I want two days off... but I'm just getting greedy.
I mentioned that I've been a little more emotional this week. Well, I think I've hit the peak of culture shock. And it is shocking. My rose-colored glasses have lost their color and I'm seeing things at the orphanage with this awful dirty tint. I'm praying God would come and clean up my lenses so I can finally see clearly and a correct perspective. For as long as I've known Christ, God has given me this itch to work in tough places. I'm starting to believe it has something to do with with the fact that I am so hard-headed. To be sanctified I may just need to suffer a little more. I keep saying to everyone I talk to, "I know I am where I am supposed to be," but to be honest, my little bitty reading audience, I don't really like it right now. Two ways my personality is geared is to lead and to communicate... both of these things have been stripped from me. Sheesh, this is hard to work through. Our conversations with Lang and the Middletons this weekend have encouraged me to be more intentional in the ways I study Spanish and with the girls I spend my time with. It seems obvious, but it is amazing what a busy schedule will do to your common knowledge.

There is so much I could write about. Whatcha wanna know about? Stories about the kids? ..my complete confusion and occasional fears about the future? ..my anger toward sin, specifically the mistreatment of children? ..my concern for the preaching of the Gospel and the disciplship of these kids? ..the people I'm missing most these days? ...How about what music I'm listening to these days or what made me laugh this week? I'll take requests.
Please just let me know you read this. There's something kinda awkward about feeling like you're writing to the air.

I love you all and am trying to be faithful in prayer for you as well. I praise God for the ways He shows Himself through His Church. Thank you to my community group for being a consistent example of compassion and service.

God is moving, my friends.
Peace,
Maria Elena