There is a season, turn, turn, turn.

So I mentioned in my last blog entry that I went on another field trip. I drove a van-full of fifth graders and their teacher to San Ignacio, a little town that's a 20 minute drive down a DIRT, pot-holey road. Adventure. We looked at someone's giant pet hawk, some other farm animals, and learned how Mexicans grow beans. It was actually quite fun. Here are some pictures along with a few others from the orphanage.

Marcela and I with frijoles.. aka beans. We eat these little guys every day.




This hawk is someone's pet. Not as family-friendly as say.. a dog. But then again classes of fifth graders don't come out to see your family dog.




After they took a class picture, I climbed up this haystack here and smiled for the camera. I have this dumb, dumb, dumb fear of heights, so I wanted them to take a good picture fast. This is the only one I got... and I'm looking down. Gracias por nada.




A fifth-grader had to help me down. I am ridiculous.




The teacher was driving the truck. None of this would fly in the States, but I think its way cooler. Do the parents know about this when they sign the permission slip?




This here is little pig. He's actually kinda cute unlike the fat nasties that live at the orphanage.




Pretty? Kinda. The trash could distract you from the mountains though.




Some of the fifth-graders. If some of them look too old for their grade it's because they are. I hate that some of them are so far behind. The one on the far left should be adopted within the year. In fact, her new parents are visiting right now. Fun.




We carpool and give wet willies.




Cielo has an awesome sense of humor and this refreshing goofiness to her.




Ana Karen. to Team Vito: she has a new game... it's called "dientes." Its played pretty much the same as "ojos" but with teeth. just wait. you'll love it.



Loty and Brisa piggying.



After looking at a thousand pictures, you can now read a thousand words. Or not. I'll never know the difference.

A time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to tear down and a time to build up:
I feel like people at home are always worried about me. Have I communicated at some point that I'm suffering? I'm a liar if I did. Really, I am feeling more at peace here than ever before... but my heart is heavy this week. So heavy. My mind has been moving at a rapid speed for days now and I think its time to share a bit of it.
First, I am feeling more helpless than ever in solving the problems of the world. I know, I know. It's silly, but it was a subconcious thought, I promise. I think I am finally realizing that I'm not gonna do it... when I die we will not be living in peace. There will still be orphans and abused children. There will be man-centered churches, car accidents, thieves and liars, men will still abuse women, women will still manipulate men, and there will be thousands that reject and mock God. I am so small and insignificant in comparison to the need.
A family of four moved into the orphanage this week... of course, two young girls to be added to our already crowded room. At this point almost all the beds have two girls in them. I fear it's only a matter of time before Lauren and I are cuddling up in the top bunk. These kids have been hurt. You could come for a week (or 5 months) and see the surface of their hearts and never know all their horrific stories. I'm not gonna candy-coat this, but there are little girls here who have been treated like toys at the hands of men and children who have been tossed around like garbage waste. This is weighing on me heavier this week because of some things I recently learned about the kids. I'm sick over the effects of sin. It can ruin us and shame others. I hate it. Oh, but I love it. If only God would destroy our love for anything but Him. Please pray that God would raise up more people to come and minister to the hearts of these little creations.
I wish I could talk to Amy Carmichael or George Mueller... what did they do with the pain of the thousands of kids they met?

Next, "Sometimes God ordains the Desert:"
The women who are closest to me in my life (namely my old roomies), can testify that the past year or so now has been the driest season in my walk with Christ up to this point. I'd like to say that when I moved here I was over this and passionately on fire for the Lord... but then I'd just be a dry liar. And with that let me say that I'm uncomfortable calling myself a missionary here, because the response from others is kinda silly. Moving to another country should not give us cool points or set us apart in the church. I hope I'm living the same as I would in the States... all those in Christ are to be ministers of the Gospel in the places God has put them. Please don't exalt me or tell me I'm living some sacrificial life. Don't let my location and surroundings fool you. I am as desperate for Christ today as I was three months ago working at a Cafe. It'll be the same in two months when I'm back in the comforts of my hometown. Your affirmation feeds a pride in me that is disgusting, and I can assure you that the children and staff don't see Lauren and I that way. They get paid nothing for the work they do, and in five months they´re not leaving. I say all that as a preface (Sarah Tennant:) ) to a sweet word the Lord gave me this week about myself and one of the reasons He has brought me here.
A lot has been going on lately. This particular lifestyle can busy your mind so easily that you forget to really examine yourself internally... even forget the dryness. Lauren loaned me her mp3 player the other day for the drive to pick up the boys. As usual when this happens, I listened to my favorite communicator of the Gospel, Matt Chandler, of the Village Church (please check him out on iTunes pocasts... so goood... seriously). Well, amidst his series on Ecclesiastes is a precious word he gave on September 3, 2006 (listen to it!), and through this message God broke me to the point of tears. His words resonated with me in every way. He spoke of God's purpose in bringing us to the "desert". He talked about how we lie to God and our community in the faith because we're scared. God brought to mind all the lies I'd been telling Him. Honestly, there are times when I look at these children here and want to curse God. I don't understand. All my theological understanding and studies feel worthless in moments like these. It's like a chasing after the wind. God challenged me in these thoughts and brought me security as He reminded me of the Gospel. As I confessed my frustrations with this season and with sin, God kept speaking to me. Almost audibly... but not at all (that still hasn't happened to me). I started looking around at the literal desert I am living in. Chihuahua is crazy dry, but occasionally there are these crazy downpours of rain. There will be huge puddles covering the dirt roads that the ground can feed on for about a day. And then it's dry again. Oh, how I relate to that. Chandler than reminded me of how God used the relationship between Hosea and his prostitute wife to speak to Israel about their rebellion. I am that wandering wife. I am like Israel.
"I will strip her naked
And expose her as on the day when she was born
I will also make her like a wilderness,
Make her like desert land
And slay her with thirst
...Therefore, behold, I will allure her,
Bring her into the wilderness
And speak kindly to her..."
I believe that God has brought me to the desert to strip me and break me only to allure me once again... He reminded me that He IS doing a work in me and I have to be patient through the season. He can use me here, as He can use me in the States, because He is God. He is doing the work in times of strength and in times of weakness. I will wait for Him.
So, I'm sitting in a little cubby between the library and a storage room and I am crying over the sweetness of God amidst all my seasons of life. I'm looking out at the desert and God is saying to me, "I brought you out to the desert to speak to you tenderly." He brought me to a literal desert to show me my spiritual desert. And then, I see our goats. You've seen the video with the mean goat, right? Nearly everyone who has visited has goat story. Well, they're walking in front of me and I'm battling whether to remain in this stillness or whether I should run to avoid the angry goat. I decided to go into the storage room and wait for the goats to pass. I was standing there, heart racing but praying because God was speaking to me! I was looking out this little peep hole as the goats passed by. Apparently the mean goat saw me sneak away... because he followed me. I looked up in the doorway and he stood there. eyeing me. no doubt trying to decide where on my body he would cause the most pain. So I did what any logical human being would do. I picked up a huge wooden board and threatened the guy saying, "Seriously. If you come any closer I'll hit you. I will, I'll hit you!" I sounded like a fool but it worked. The goat left me. My battle with the animal was over and my intimate moment with God was officially interrupted. But God is good. He renewed in me a desire to pursue Him in and out of this season.

The point is, God had me look at the desert I see every day with new eyes, and He spoke to me about my future with Him. While I am still a sinner, Christ has died for me.
In summary: I laughed really hard this week with some of the little girls, intimidated a goat with my threats, and was refreshed by the word of the Lord.

If you read this whole entry, I'll give you 5 points. Yep, 5 whole points.
May the Spirit of God bring you times of refreshing and tighten your grip only on Him. And may the peace of Christ be with you all.
Later dudes.
Mary Ellen

PS- Jay, I'll give your message to the girls. Mer and Paul- Dang, I love you. Thank you for reading and for loving us. South Carolina is one blessed state.
Daddio, can't wait to see you... less than 7 days now. Momma, wish you could come. Linda, let's all go out to dinner one night after you get here. Team Vito, the Lilies of the Valley are pumped. Andrea, I am thankful for the internet because we talked today. Love you. Sarah Tennant, I'm dying to talk to you for some crazy reason. I'll call you soon cuz its driving me crazy. Jen Doty, how the heck are you?